As mothers we come second , we have since the very first time we held the love of our lives and we always will. In our minds our needs are non existent, not important. Once we make our children happy everyday , feed , wash , play …. We have met our needs. I for one have a need in me – I need to know my boy is happy it upsets me if I know something is bugging him and as of late it is his teeth. I can’t leave him when he’s off form. First off he’s cranky, out of routine and I couldn’t bare for anyone to have a bad experience with my beauty and secondly it hurts ME to leave him it’s a want in me to comfort and cuddle him when he’s not in the best as I’m sure most can relate. So honestly I can barely leave him because he is 8 months and teething like crazy!
But as mothers we have our own personal needs & wants. For our confidence we need to have ourselves looking and feeling well but we don’t have the means we had before because we spend all our money on our children. Its a natural instinct to want the best for our babies. But forget about material things , I’m talking about time for us even if it is just a 20 minute bath or a half an hour walk.We don’t need to be away from our babies but we need to catch up with ourselves and our thoughts. Our heads need to be clear and my biggest worry when I got pregnant was that my anxiety would take over and I would sink into a deep hole and not be a good mother to my son. For a while I possibly did and lost control of things.
It’s the guilt of leaving them, the guilt of not being by their side at every minute of everyday. Why do we feel this guilt ? Is it from love ? Is it our own form of seperation anxiety ? Who actually knows ?
I chose to stay at home and be a mother to my son and that’s what i am happy doing. I don’t want anyone else hearing his first word, watching his first step. I NEED to be this person! Although I am happy doing this and it’s the most rewarding job in the world it’s no lie when people say you lose yourself. The person you have become is just a mammy , you have no other titles , no career , no hobbies , not enough time. This is why I blog ! This is my outlet ! This is my half an hour or hour during the day when Harley sleeps that I can mess around with whatever products I have been sent or new make up I got and be me. A little bit of the old me , the me that spent hours doing her make up , the me who loved skincare and fashion. For that hour I find confidence I remember I’m not just a mammy I am still Shauna. The girl with the funky hair and many tattoos with the quirky style. I’m still sitting right beside my boy and having my outlet.
Do other mothers realise how important this is ? If We lose ourselves , we lose everything. It’s about finding that balance and outlet whether yours is jogging, painting, reading , shopping , whatever it is take it and find yourself again even for an hour a day .You are still you ! Just with an extra bonus of a beautiful child! Your baby doesn’t define you they make you better! And truthfully that hour a day makes you a better mammy ! You have had that time to catch up with yourself and your thoughts and that prevents things getting in on top of you. We are all only human after all
My boy Harley Rain.